Has the HK government service changed in 30 years?
Not only is the customer service standards of Hong Kong a few decades behind the times, so is the Government service. It is ridiculous. I don't even think they use computers. All the desks have rolodexes and they use punchcards and official stamps.
My work has sent in a teacher application for me to work. Unfortunately there is a bit of a problem with my name on my Hong Kong identity card matching my diploma... when I called a while back this was the conversation:
Them: Hello
Me: Hello, this is Douglas Bastien. I am inquiring about a letter my office received.
Them: Yes
Me: From your office-
Them: Yes
Me: On paper-
Them: Yes
Me: Dated May 24-
Them: Yes
Me: You wanted me to prove I'm me.
Them: Yes
Me: Yes...
Them: Can I have your name please?
Me: Douglas Bastien.
Them: What's the date of the letter?
Me: May 24
Them: And what is it regarding?
Me: Mother F- It's about your office wanting me to prove I'm me.
Them: Okay.
Me: Yes.
Them: And how can I help you?
Me: Jesus, I'm calling to tell you I'm me.
Them: We need a legal declaration of this.
Me: Why?
Them: Because your diploma has the name "Douglas Alexander Wai-Chung Bastien" and your Hong Kong ID has "Bastien Douglas"
Me: First of all, there is no first of all. These are the same people.
Them: The names don't match, sir.
Me: That's because my diploma has middle names. These are optional names. These names don't count. Look at the first name and the last name. They match the first name and last name on my Hong Kong ID. They're the same.
Them: Yes, but there's other names. These aren't on your Hong Kong ID.
Me: These aren't on my Hong Kong ID because your government wouldn't let me.
Them: We still need proof.
Me: What am I supposed to tell the person when I am getting a legal declaration? That the same Hong Kong government that refused my request to have all my names on my Hong Kong ID is now asking me to prove that all those names belong to the same person who asked for them all on his Hong Kong ID in the first place?
Them: Umm...
Me: How many Douglas Alexander Wai-Chung Bastien's are there? Do you think I miraculously found one at the same University I went to and asked him to ask his University to send the Government of Hong Kong a copy of his diploma?
Them: Did you do that?
Me: Mother f- of course not!
Them: Then we need legal declaration.
Me: Do you know how much trouble I have when dealing with the Hong Kong government? Like I am having right now.
Them: You can get the legal declaration by-
And then I get a stroke of brilliance...
Me: Okay, okay...listen. You got a copy of my diploma straight from my university, right?
Them: Correct.
Me: And with that diploma, you got a copy of my transcript, right?
Them: Correct.
Me: What is the name on that transcript?
Them: Douglas Bastien.
Me: Bingo.
Them: Bing-what?
Me: Well, if the University sent to your office directly an official copy of my diploma, and they sent you an official copy of my transcript, they must be for the same person. The proof is the transcript. If you want to find out if the transcript and the diploma refer to the same person, you can find out from my University.
Them: Please hold. I am going to confer with my colleagues.
Them: Please hold a bit longer.
Them: My colleagues agree. Your application should be processed shortly.
Me: Thank you.
And sure enough - the government screwed it up. They sent a first reminder requesting a legal declaration and now I need to have this whole f'ing thing over again.
My work has sent in a teacher application for me to work. Unfortunately there is a bit of a problem with my name on my Hong Kong identity card matching my diploma... when I called a while back this was the conversation:
Them: Hello
Me: Hello, this is Douglas Bastien. I am inquiring about a letter my office received.
Them: Yes
Me: From your office-
Them: Yes
Me: On paper-
Them: Yes
Me: Dated May 24-
Them: Yes
Me: You wanted me to prove I'm me.
Them: Yes
Me: Yes...
Them: Can I have your name please?
Me: Douglas Bastien.
Them: What's the date of the letter?
Me: May 24
Them: And what is it regarding?
Me: Mother F- It's about your office wanting me to prove I'm me.
Them: Okay.
Me: Yes.
Them: And how can I help you?
Me: Jesus, I'm calling to tell you I'm me.
Them: We need a legal declaration of this.
Me: Why?
Them: Because your diploma has the name "Douglas Alexander Wai-Chung Bastien" and your Hong Kong ID has "Bastien Douglas"
Me: First of all, there is no first of all. These are the same people.
Them: The names don't match, sir.
Me: That's because my diploma has middle names. These are optional names. These names don't count. Look at the first name and the last name. They match the first name and last name on my Hong Kong ID. They're the same.
Them: Yes, but there's other names. These aren't on your Hong Kong ID.
Me: These aren't on my Hong Kong ID because your government wouldn't let me.
Them: We still need proof.
Me: What am I supposed to tell the person when I am getting a legal declaration? That the same Hong Kong government that refused my request to have all my names on my Hong Kong ID is now asking me to prove that all those names belong to the same person who asked for them all on his Hong Kong ID in the first place?
Them: Umm...
Me: How many Douglas Alexander Wai-Chung Bastien's are there? Do you think I miraculously found one at the same University I went to and asked him to ask his University to send the Government of Hong Kong a copy of his diploma?
Them: Did you do that?
Me: Mother f- of course not!
Them: Then we need legal declaration.
Me: Do you know how much trouble I have when dealing with the Hong Kong government? Like I am having right now.
Them: You can get the legal declaration by-
And then I get a stroke of brilliance...
Me: Okay, okay...listen. You got a copy of my diploma straight from my university, right?
Them: Correct.
Me: And with that diploma, you got a copy of my transcript, right?
Them: Correct.
Me: What is the name on that transcript?
Them: Douglas Bastien.
Me: Bingo.
Them: Bing-what?
Me: Well, if the University sent to your office directly an official copy of my diploma, and they sent you an official copy of my transcript, they must be for the same person. The proof is the transcript. If you want to find out if the transcript and the diploma refer to the same person, you can find out from my University.
Them: Please hold. I am going to confer with my colleagues.
Them: Please hold a bit longer.
Them: My colleagues agree. Your application should be processed shortly.
Me: Thank you.
And sure enough - the government screwed it up. They sent a first reminder requesting a legal declaration and now I need to have this whole f'ing thing over again.
posted by Canadian "Civil" Servant at 13:18
2 Comments:
During my time in Hong Kong (mid-seventies), there was a French illustrator known as Zabo who published a book of his cartoons entitled "Hong Kong Sweet and Sour". One of his cartoons, "La vendeuse est reine" captures, I think, the essence of the concept of customer service from a Hong Kong perspective. Check it out.
http://jh.parcelier.free.fr/html_fr/html_ci_fr/html_zabo_fr/zabo08.htm
I used to have the same problem at the bank, when trying to cash cheques made out to me as Tony instead of Anthony.
Save yourself a lot of stress; learn to bend like the bamboo before the storm... Go to your local City District Office and swear a Statutory Declaration to the effect that your full name is DAWCB but that for convenience you use DB. It takes less than an hour and it's free.
Get a couple of certified true copies made (there might be a small fee for this) and keep them to silence anyone who hassles you for similar reasons in the future.
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