Congratulatory Apple, Being back, Back to work, and University
Congratulatory Apple
Found out some great news - my best HK friend Apple may become a Police officer...exciting news. I will keep my fingers crossed for her.
She will join the ranks of the 5 other Hong Kong police officers I've known - for those of you who didn't know, my parents met in the Hong Kong police.
I will keep my fingers crossed for her, but won't harp on it until she has the uniform on.
Being back
I spent the last year finding out who I am. I finished that 364 days early and gathered reasons for why I am what I am.
Now in my second year in Hong Kong (minus one month I was gone) I am now much more assertive about my identity, sometimes in a hostile manner, but otherwise very dismissive and sweeping in tone. Identity cannot be dealt with lightly in the face of assumptions, biases, prejudice and ignorance - otherwise it's just not worth dealing at all. Unless you don't care.
I have the face of a foreigner, but all the advantages of a Canadian-born Chinese (CBC). Rather, I don't have the face of a Chinese, but without the disadvantages of a landed foreigner.
It has been rather difficult to explain myself to the Hong Kong people. Not that I care to, there's no shouting from rooftops nor do I care there's any importance about my identity. But people ask and don't quite listen intently - so I need to be assertive. I get the questions from the locals, the foreigners and the overseas-raised. They ask my why I know Chinese, how come I can write, how come I know about the popular culture scene, how am I able to stay in Hong Kong. The answers are typically because I am a Canadian-born Chinese - but the unspoke subtext is that I don't know these things more because I am a foreigner. Both apply.
So in sweeping language with assertion, I bounce back and forth balancing the line between explaining that I know these things because I am chinese, yet don't know it more because I am a foreigner.
Back to work
After a month absence, went back to work at the headquarters for the foster children to teach English. A few have left - been adopted - and it bothers me after having developed an attachment for the children - but it's all in the best. Less difficult is that some will be moving up to higher-age dorms - while others will be relocated to foster care in another area in Hong Kong. These kids are the cutest things - deserving of all the things all children benefit - but won't get. So many things bother me about their situation, and though I agree they have all the reasons to have my sympathy and attention, while working I need to be stern, consistent, and maintain discipline while I teach. Outside of class I try to give as much attention and care as I can though.
The cutest thing is hearing the kids tell me they missed me. I was earnestly hoping they wouldn't, and respond well to the substitute teacher. I worked hard to provide the substitute with materials, direction, advice and a schedule that would make things easiest, but fortunately my assistant was able to respond well to the students. I am told some of the children cried for me, but although this is very flattering, these children need to develop strength and adapt to change. But all in time. I hope.
University?
I am considering taking a Cantonese course at the Chinese University in Hong KOng. From what I have read from on-line message boards about Cantonese, their course is the best, as they even teach translators. But it's very expensive...$4000 CDN for a semester 3 month of 5 courses/week at 3 hours/class (now, if a train is going west at 15km/h and another is going...). My past 3 months in Hong Kong hasn't improved my Cantonese at all, and I want to communicate better with my friends and family - Right now I can communicate sufficiently, but it is mostly relying on others to fill the (many) gaps, and I feel the richness of the communications is lacking, as I have more to express and more to discern from what I want to express. A very expensive interest, but...
But I need to speak Cantonese- and speak it well for it to be useful. I cannot understand why anyone would want to speak French. It is useless. Not to say anything less of the language - I continue to push myself to learn it and practice it. But it takes a lot before it is useful. Why? Because for your level of French to be useful, you have to be speaking to someone whose English is worse than your French. This is a really simple concept - because if their English was better than your French, then you'd be speaking English. And this is true with just about everybody who can speak French - all Francophones (generally) can speak English - and speak it well. If you are going to speak French with a francophone, it's because your French is very good. And to learn very good French is just about prohibitively impossible. You will always be able to fall back on your shill and revert to English.
The same applies to Cantonese. My Cantonese, to be practically useful, has to be very very good. And I endeavour for that. And I am in the right place for it, and the right effort and motivation. I'd love to learn from the people around me, but we keep reverting back to English, because I don't have enough of a foundation to build on - just enough of a foundation to provide shelter. I also wouldn't want to subject others with having to deal with me. It's a difficult language for a westerner to learn - and requires a teacher with a sensitive ear for tone, and a knowledge of the steps that builds on learning and - a whole bunch of other stuff I know about education.
Enough rambling.
Here's your gratuitous photo.
Is Doug ready for University again...or is University ready for Doug again?
More from this group of photos
Found out some great news - my best HK friend Apple may become a Police officer...exciting news. I will keep my fingers crossed for her.
She will join the ranks of the 5 other Hong Kong police officers I've known - for those of you who didn't know, my parents met in the Hong Kong police.
I will keep my fingers crossed for her, but won't harp on it until she has the uniform on.
Being back
I spent the last year finding out who I am. I finished that 364 days early and gathered reasons for why I am what I am.
Now in my second year in Hong Kong (minus one month I was gone) I am now much more assertive about my identity, sometimes in a hostile manner, but otherwise very dismissive and sweeping in tone. Identity cannot be dealt with lightly in the face of assumptions, biases, prejudice and ignorance - otherwise it's just not worth dealing at all. Unless you don't care.
I have the face of a foreigner, but all the advantages of a Canadian-born Chinese (CBC). Rather, I don't have the face of a Chinese, but without the disadvantages of a landed foreigner.
It has been rather difficult to explain myself to the Hong Kong people. Not that I care to, there's no shouting from rooftops nor do I care there's any importance about my identity. But people ask and don't quite listen intently - so I need to be assertive. I get the questions from the locals, the foreigners and the overseas-raised. They ask my why I know Chinese, how come I can write, how come I know about the popular culture scene, how am I able to stay in Hong Kong. The answers are typically because I am a Canadian-born Chinese - but the unspoke subtext is that I don't know these things more because I am a foreigner. Both apply.
So in sweeping language with assertion, I bounce back and forth balancing the line between explaining that I know these things because I am chinese, yet don't know it more because I am a foreigner.
Back to work
After a month absence, went back to work at the headquarters for the foster children to teach English. A few have left - been adopted - and it bothers me after having developed an attachment for the children - but it's all in the best. Less difficult is that some will be moving up to higher-age dorms - while others will be relocated to foster care in another area in Hong Kong. These kids are the cutest things - deserving of all the things all children benefit - but won't get. So many things bother me about their situation, and though I agree they have all the reasons to have my sympathy and attention, while working I need to be stern, consistent, and maintain discipline while I teach. Outside of class I try to give as much attention and care as I can though.
The cutest thing is hearing the kids tell me they missed me. I was earnestly hoping they wouldn't, and respond well to the substitute teacher. I worked hard to provide the substitute with materials, direction, advice and a schedule that would make things easiest, but fortunately my assistant was able to respond well to the students. I am told some of the children cried for me, but although this is very flattering, these children need to develop strength and adapt to change. But all in time. I hope.
University?
I am considering taking a Cantonese course at the Chinese University in Hong KOng. From what I have read from on-line message boards about Cantonese, their course is the best, as they even teach translators. But it's very expensive...$4000 CDN for a semester 3 month of 5 courses/week at 3 hours/class (now, if a train is going west at 15km/h and another is going...). My past 3 months in Hong Kong hasn't improved my Cantonese at all, and I want to communicate better with my friends and family - Right now I can communicate sufficiently, but it is mostly relying on others to fill the (many) gaps, and I feel the richness of the communications is lacking, as I have more to express and more to discern from what I want to express. A very expensive interest, but...
But I need to speak Cantonese- and speak it well for it to be useful. I cannot understand why anyone would want to speak French. It is useless. Not to say anything less of the language - I continue to push myself to learn it and practice it. But it takes a lot before it is useful. Why? Because for your level of French to be useful, you have to be speaking to someone whose English is worse than your French. This is a really simple concept - because if their English was better than your French, then you'd be speaking English. And this is true with just about everybody who can speak French - all Francophones (generally) can speak English - and speak it well. If you are going to speak French with a francophone, it's because your French is very good. And to learn very good French is just about prohibitively impossible. You will always be able to fall back on your shill and revert to English.
The same applies to Cantonese. My Cantonese, to be practically useful, has to be very very good. And I endeavour for that. And I am in the right place for it, and the right effort and motivation. I'd love to learn from the people around me, but we keep reverting back to English, because I don't have enough of a foundation to build on - just enough of a foundation to provide shelter. I also wouldn't want to subject others with having to deal with me. It's a difficult language for a westerner to learn - and requires a teacher with a sensitive ear for tone, and a knowledge of the steps that builds on learning and - a whole bunch of other stuff I know about education.
Enough rambling.
Here's your gratuitous photo.
Is Doug ready for University again...or is University ready for Doug again?
More from this group of photos
posted by Canadian "Civil" Servant at 01:35
11 Comments:
It's gonna take you a good few years to get anywhere near being fluent enough to speak and write Cantonese. So if I was you, Iwould just stick with the English.
Oh, and since when has someone like you been a Canadian born Chinese? You are neither Chinese or Westerner, you are a halfbreed, like it or not.
I find the term "halfbreed" offensive. It implies that only "fullbreeds" can lay claim to being either "Chinese" or "Westerner".
In fact it's interesting that anonymous uses the term "Westerner" rather than "European" or "Caucasian". For after all, what are "Westerners"?
Most of the people I know who were born here in Canada consider themselves "Westerners". Even though their racial background is as varied as the planet will allow.
I like that. I like that in this generation, Canadians socialize with, date, fall in love, and have children with people who don't necessarily share the same ethnicity. I'm pleased that racial purity has become a non issue for the vast majority of Canadians.
While not a proponent of heterosis, or hybrid vigor as the ultimate strategy for ensuring the suvival of the species, I dare say that in many cases, persons of mixed race inherit positive aspects from each the various races which make up their heredity allowing them to excel in many areas.
So rather than denigrate persons of mixed race, I prefer to celebrate their uniqueness.
And by the way, while Doug is perfectly capable of defending himself on this issue, I don't think he claimed to be a CBC, but rather merely stated that he had all the advantages of one.
Bob
Heh-
I wonder how these Anonymous people find my blog...no way to find out, but they do inject some debate.
Regarding "halfbreed term" - couldn't care. I am supportive of whatever language people want to use that helps them understand - only natural of everyone. But it is in communicating ideas that we need to use a common language, and what it evokes of others is revealing of the conflict of understanding of terms. It happens across all borders of overlap. The Chinese term for foreigner (gwaih-louh/gwaih-zai) isn't meant in any derogatory way - it helps describe a person but can be taken differently. I have people here in HK who regularly call me such - but I know their intentions aren't derogatory.
Personally, I can see the offensive nature...halfbreed, as in the person is only half a breed. Perhaps it should be "half-half-breed".
I do half-consider myself a CBC. A CBHC (Canadian-born Half-Chinese)...or an HSBC (Half-something born-Chinese, complete with logo and branches around the world. The world's local bank).
And yes, it'll take a few years to get fluent in Cantonese. Unfortunately I can't stick with English, as I have French under my belt, already with some Cantonese, sign-language and Mandarin. Oh well...it's a slippery slope when you start opening your mind.
But it is daunting, to look forward how far I have to go. But then I look back and see how far I've gone, and see how much closer I get to understanding my friends and family more. For example, I just came back from Karaoke singing songs and playing games with all local HK friends - how many HSBCs/ Westerners/ Foreigners/ Gwaih-louh/ Half-Breeds/ Half-Half-Breeds can say that?
It sounds though as if you are trying to be something or someone that you are not and can never be. A bit like Michal Jackson trying to turn his skin and appearance as a Caucasian
No comprendo. Unlike Michael, I actually am Chinese, White (Scottish & French-Canadian). Can't figure out what's being pretended here.
But I do feel like I'm becoming more of a full person...unlike some Chinese people I've met who grow up abroad and come to Hong Kong...so who are you?
You are a half-breed and cannot really be described as anything else. What is your ethnicity then if you are not a halfbreed?
I don't know...you see, I don't study eugenics.
If you look at the history of each country you will know there is no such thing as pure breed in human race. I think "anonymous" should get his/her own blog.
smb
I am just staing the obvious, not meant to be pretencious or anything else. The point is that Doug is stuck between two ethnicities he is neither Asian or Caucasian - he is a halfbreed.
The fact that he thinks he should be able and claims he wants to speak Cantonese fluently and hangs around with HK people trying to act like them, implies he is trying to act and be like a Chinese from Hong Kong. I wonder why Doug doesn't go to the mainland and learn to speak Putonghua.
Fullbreed (i.e. all Chinese)
"It's gonna take you a good few years to get anywhere near being fluent enough to speak and write Cantonese."
Well, since he's only half-chinese, he only has to half-learn Cantonese then, right? :op
I want to make a distinction that I think the anonymous poster is missing. Race has to do with physiological differences. Ethnicity is about identifying with a particular ethnic group composed of those individuals sharing linguistic, cultural, historical and religious similarities (note: social distinctions, not physiological ones, as you keep confusing in your messages). Although race and ethnicity are related, they are not the same thing. Ultimately, what matters is who Doug identifies with, and he doesn't claim to be Chinese, but Canadian-born Chinese (or whatever). There's a difference.
It's not possible to go half way in learning about heritage. His mother was born and raised in Hong Kong and his father lived there for countless years, so his Chinese roots are undeniable. Anyone who knows Doug, knows how important it is to his identity. He's probably more committed to his roots than some Canadian-born "pure-breds", so he isn't pretending to be something he isn't -- he's exploring who he IS. They're his roots as much as they are yours.
-rc
"It sounds though as if you are trying to be something or someone that you are not and can never be."
How does a half-chinese speak, act, look? This questions also begs to ask what a half-chinese should speak, act, look. There are many half-chinese, with similar hereditary of a Hong Kong-born and raised parent, who speak Cantonese fluently and act very Chinese. And there are others who are very westernised. And there are those who do both. Many notable actors and models in Hong Kong show this whole spectrum of identity - Carl Ng (model), Wong Man-Tak (actor), Isabella (singer), and others. I have also taught students who are half-chinese...some have Cantonese as a second-language and others have English as a second-language. Half-breeds or not, they are not pretending.
But despite this...I have increasing respect for the Chinese who go to Canada and absolutely absorb everything about Canadian culture - being so rich and talented in their own background and their new background. My Chinese aunt and uncle in Toronto keep learning new things about Canadian culture, and I consider it impressive how talented and skilled their daughters are with Chinese and Canadian culture. Are they pretending anything?
I just came back being with local friends. I am very open about my background and I speak about it (mostly in Chinese) with pride - and respect for the guest culture I am learning about. The anonymous poster hasn't met me or they would know this. I still appreciate the debate points however.
The Overseas-Born/Overseas-raised Chinese I have met seem confused - many can't read/write and have no interest to learn anew, yet they come (back) to Hong Kong stuck between two worlds - trying to live like a westerner in an asian land where they have come to find identity. More on this later - if I am daring to enter that realm of debate. Are they pretending?
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