New Job and blogging scares me

Yes, it's the new Chinese new year.

My family here has either left Hong Kong, or they're working like a dog (read: alot) or they're taking in the SAR national sport of shopping. I'd do more during my first Chinese new year in HK but

• I just got here and I ain't leaving to go somewhere else
• I haven't the money either to do #1
• I ain't shopping, don't like it (and there's reason #2 too)

It also doesn't interest me to go out in the crowded areas to partake in the parade-watching. For one thing, HK is crowded all year round, and parades don't give it to me. I wasn't all that interested in parades, ever. There was this one St. Patrick's parade that I enjoyed a few years ago in Montreal, trusty flask in hand during the cold cold wather. I yelled out to Dennis Trudeau, anchor of Montreal's CBC evening News program, "Hey Dennis! Remember me! I'm the one who watches you every night!". Ahem. He was kind enough to wave back.

Mind you my Uncle-friend Lawrence invited me over on New Year's eve for a dinner at his home - it was an excellent dinner and Lawrence and his family are great guests. I got to compete wits with his wife as we traded trivia on HK Canto-pop stars and actors. She matched my poignant "Did you know Charlene Choi (of Twins) was born in Canada?" with a sly "Did you know Isabella is half-portuguese?". Boy did I kick myself about not knowing that one.

New Job
Well some people have been asking me what I've been doing. What my work is. For a while I've been teaching English part-time. More like part-part-part time. Enough to keep the teacher instinct in me running and (hopefully) provide people weekly with a different perspective on English and Hong Kong.

Also...
I am the new Kindergarten teacher at the Po Leung Kuk's headquarters.
I am also the only male teacher, as far as anyone knows of, at the Po Leung Kuk's headquarters.
I am also the first Kindergarten teacher at the Po Leung Kuk's headquarters.

I was hired as part of a new project to introduce a bilingual and trilingual learning environment to children at the group homes. As I am introducing the program, I have the responsibility to introduce the curriculum, teach the course and work alongside the childcare worker and the Po Leung Kuk.

The Po Leung Kuk is a large chain of Elementary schools in Hong Kong, over a hundred years old. Very well-known, very established. This is an opportunity for me to be further involved in the community of Hong Kong while helping to benefit the lives of children as best I can.

That is all to say for now. But I've signed the contract for a year with summer leave to visit Canada in July. Yes. July.


Blogging Scares Me
It's so haaaaaard to blog.
Sooooooooooo difficult.
Who do I write about? What/who can I write/complain about? Do I want to complain or give insight about work?

This blogging phenomena is charting un-err-charted territory. What if someone read my blog, do they make an explicit reference to it in person? Weird.

I'm rather clear about who my intended audience is; this is a way to facilitate my correspondence with friends and family back home, the people who are not around me here. The secondary function of this blog is unintended; for people to get to know me better. Right now I still don't know if it's a good idea. They get an accurate slice of me, but it's not quite representative of myself. Sure they can read the rest, fine, but what I write about in my blog is but just one facet, one side. Also I'm writing to people who know me, so I forego formalities of context, and I am less apologetic. Given to chance to explain myself to someone who doesn't know me, my discussion would be quite different. I'm all for being an open book, but I still prefer for people to get a better picture by starting with me at page 1 before jumping to the end.

So, for now, I am reluctant to advertise my blog to anyone in HK who does not know me, at least well. The rest are okay.

Also, for very good reasons, I am reluctant to blog too much about work.

Last week
The personal e-mails from my last post were interesting. I neglected to mention how I have a sense of humour though...it was the residual bitterness of a dinner still brewing in the writing. Perhaps my best display of humour is pointing out the similarity of the words "Sunday" & "Monday" and "Buy" & "Sell" and what I imagine the consequences have been throughout time between the Chinese and English. If you haven't before, ask someone bilingual to say the words Sunday & Monday and Buy & Sell. You'll be surprised. You'll also both be talking for at least half an hour explaining how it sounds the same to you and how it doesn't sound the same to them.

Other side of the coin:
I borrow this one from my good friend Lia: Try to explain, even to yourself, the difference between Watch, See and Look. These three words are the same in Cantonese (and reduced to two in French, voir, regarde)

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And now, some gratuitous photos of Hong Kong as mandated by the Hong Kong Tourism Board.

This is on some street near the east-end of Hong Kong. Taken like 4 months ago.


This is taken from IFC 1 or 2, in the downtown Hong Kong island district. In other words; the Cash-Rich part of HK.

Yep, it can get quite crowded here in HK. And this wasn't taken on a festival. Wasn't.
This is Mong Kok. The people here put the "Wong" ("旺") in Mong Kok ("旺角")! Yeah, baby, yeah!
Ahem, ask a Hong Konger about this one. And if you can figure it out, tell me.

My Cantonese is either pretty damn good, or so bad its worth laughing and pointing so that I know

Intro
I get both gleaming compliments and taunting jabs over my Cantonese. Both make me feel uncomfortable for very different reasons. I usually dismiss the compliments (I think I'm a good judge of my own level of Cantonese), but the taunts really get me and I'm losing my patience.

The compliments
When
I don't mind when I get complimented about my Cantonese. I'm not completely appreciative of it either; the observation is foremost out of politeness and really means nothing more thana well-intended pleasantry. I'm not quite sure what to say "Wow, is that I'm speaking? Oh my, it is! Hey, wow! It is good! Thanks for telling me!". I mean I study the language like a dog as much as I can, I always think it pales in comparison to where it should be.

It's surprise
I think the compliment is more of an expression of surprise. To see a westerner speaking a language that is practically exclusive to the Chinese (err...Race? Ethnicity? Chinese-Looking people?) it is a surprise for many. Personally, I have not yet seen a westerner speak Chinese fluently, mind you twice I've seen a westerner speak it in small bursts. (A British uncle-friend of mine here has made the claim that he speaks it fluently and I am inclined to believe him, however I am reluctant to ask him to perform, despite my sheer curiousity). Seeing something so surprising, maybe the locals feel compelled to mention something. And the surprise is seeing a Westerner speaking more than most other Westerners here.

You're a Westerner?
Well that's the thing. I look more of a Westerner/White than Chinese, but the Chinese and White folks in my life can see the Chinese, it's there.

About a month ago I went to eat with Apple at a mall. It was after New Year's, and she went to China and we hadn't seen each other in a while. As always with her I speak a bit in English and Cantonese. Well this girl at the other table felt compelled to compliment me on my Cantonese. Again, not quite knowing what to say, I said something like "It should be... because I practice as much as I can...". But honestly, it should be. I mean I am...

Half-Chinese
I started wondering; would it be surprising that I can speak such a low grade of English if I had a Chinese face? If my face was Chinese, I think it would be more surprising that my Chinese isn't fluent, isn't great. Instead, because my face is that of a Westerner (in HK at least), my Chinese is good. I think this is a sign of bias; my Chinese should be considered good or bad based on its own merits and standard.

Standard - compared to...
Fine, I'll jump to it. For having learned the language now for 6 months, I think I'm pretty good, but having studied and praciticed so much; I think it should be better. I want to get back into taking courses; Right now I am only practicing, not learning much more, but instead just getting more accustomed with what I do know. I should know more; I am after all half-chinese; but hopefully, I will know more, in a matter of time.

So I thank the people for the compliments, for the intentions of the kind words, though I disagree. Oh the locals can be sooo kind.

And the taunts
I'm learning not to speak any Cantonese with anyone who is fluent with both English and Cantonese. These people are either HK-born and raised elsewhere or they are an ABC, BBC or CBC (American, British or Canadian-born Chinese). Maybe it's their Westerner-outlook on things, maybe it's their inflated view from being well-versed in English.

They are blessed with the opportunity to have learned a language at an impressionable age, and in their later years they only hear mistakes by others who aren't as gifted and deliver instead only taunts.

Some are more forgiving, others are just plain mean.
Mean.

Maybe they're not mean people, but they're certainly not reflecting in any responsible way the effect they have on someone with their crude reactions. I don't think.

If I compare this to the Bilingualism of Montreal, I would have to say that the Quebec people of Canada do not taunt, point and laugh as much as the bilinguals here. Maybe they do, but in my experience, the Quebeckers are more forgiving and dynamic with switching between the two. That's my comparison.

Well the responses pisses me off.

When
Sometimes my Cantonese comes up. It need not to - I mean these people speak English well enough, so we speak English. But maybe I need to say some Cantonese to order something. Or maybe it comes up in a discussion, like I'm naming a Chinese dish or saying the name of a place in Hong Kong by its Chinese name. Anyway, some Cantonese comes out. And usually what happens first is a laughter and sometimes with pointing. Now, there are six tones, and with anyone who is fluent, these tones are like different words completely. But they cannot understand that someone who is new to the language just doesn't hear it. Some repeat the word like I'm supposed to immediately be blessed with the gift of hearing the difference, and that if I can't hear it, I must be stupid.

So they repeat the word. Or words. Or sentence. And ask me what they said. Like I'm a pet dog being taught tricks.

Sometimes these bilingual people talk to me in Chinese asking me if I understand. I couldn't look more stupid. And I have no choice but to look stupid. I cannot understand. I had a former boss here in HK who loved to do this. And then after they would not even tell me what they were saying. Thanks boss. I learned a lot. I learned how you like to bring people down while they're still learning.

They are being mean. Maybe they don't know better. But they're certainly not reflecting that if they were in my shoes, they wouldn't feel so...patient with the responses.

I can't expect everyone to know how to teach me. But I think I can expect decent people not to taunt me.

I've driven the message home a few times to a few people by speaking them in French. "Donc! Tu ne me comprends pas? Bon. Tu sentis bien, n'est-ce-pas?". But I don't want to fight fire with fire. I will just say I won't be their monkey. I won't open myself up to taunts, and I won't surround myself with doubters. Mind you the responses from Bilinguals don't always have the same fervour. Some people are really polite with their responses and patient with delivering criticism. This I appreciate; these are people who know how to teach, and understand the weakness involved with opening up your mind to learning. But beyond that, those fluent with Cantonese have a presumption that the language is so easy to hear and speak, and their English is so good they don't see the difficulty with ever having to learn a new language. I've actually asked a few times; what are you laughing about? They may not intentionally be laughing at me, the effect is the same, and so is the responsibility of this action. I mean the locals don't laugh. I think the Westerners Chinese just find the experience so foreign to them their only reaction is to laugh. Why? I can't find out.

It's an important thing to do; when learning, you need to build up your foundation that supports you so that you can build something strong. Learning is about finding a new way to use your mind and changing your outlook. And to do that, you have to be willing to change. Being willing to change means you open yourself up to impressions, and the experience of changing yourself can be daunting. The right attitude and the right motivations are necessary to achieve any goal.

Right attitude, right motivations
Part of having the right attitude and right motivations is to think healthily. Building esteem and confidence. Sure, maybe you're just lying to yourself by saying you can do something, but your certainly no better off relying that you can't, right?

The other part, which is hardly mentioned, is surrounding yourself with the right people. You can't achieve a whole lot if you are not surrounded by people who can support you. I think this is very important. Many a time happens where I want to throw my hands up and give up on this Cantonese, but my friends and family here are very good to me. They don't need to mention it, but they point out how I get better and how I can express myself differently. They encourage me.

For a bit of time, I will be reserved to speak Chinese in front of someone bilingual. I'll be shy with it, cautious. And with time, I hope I can speak a new language that will open more doors to my future, give me a way to communicate better (and with some; at all) with family, and also provide me with a more enriching experience about what truly is Hong Kong.

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you..."
-William Arthur Ward

A photo Apple and I had taken at one of those uber-asian photo booths at the mall.
Guess the date and win a prize.